Is your relationship healthy? These 10 questions will let you know.

Many people have no idea whether they are in a healthy or a toxic relationship. In fact, many people accept toxic relationships as though they are a given, that all the negativities are part and parcel of being in a relationship. That can’t be further from the truth.

Being in a relationship should always uplift and support you. It’s not a burden, it’s not driven by guilt.

The questions below will help you to determine the state of your relationship.

1. Do I like what I see in the mirror?

Look into the mirror. Do you like what you see? Are you genuinely smiling? Are people concerned with your health just from looking at you? Do you still feel attractive in general?

2. How does my future look like?

How do you imagine your future? Is it bright, happy and full of hopes? Or does the thought of it fills you with fear that it will remain exactly like how it is now? A future of having to constantly pacify an insecure partner and overcompensating for his or her lack of comprehension of positivity – does that appeal to you?

3. Am I taking my friends for granted?

When was the last time you went out with your friends? Are you afraid of socialising with other people because your partner is too needy and it’s just far easier to ditch your friends than trying to explain to your partner that you just want to spend some time catching up with other people that you care about?

4. Is my partner making me laugh?

Is there laughter in your relationship? Can you make fun of each other without fearing that he or she might get offended? Do you laugh often with your partner, say at least once a day?

5. Will he or she be in a good mood today?

Can you tell your partner exactly what you feel without the fear of being shut down or belittled? Are you filled with dread upon seeing your partner’s scowl? Do you have to constantly walk on eggshells around him or her?

6. Do you wish you had never experienced your past?

Have you ever regretted your past because it’s such a constant source of arguments with your current partner? Does your partner continuously relate something you’ve done now with your past? Are you exhausted of explaining to him or her that your past has no bearing on your relationship with him or her now?

7. Why do you want to have children?

Do you want children in hopes that your relationship might transform for the better? Do you want children because your partner is pressuring you in doing so? Or do you want children because you know that both of you are ready and excited for an additional family member?

8. Do you regularly receive physical affection?

Does your partner offer regular physical affections? Physical affection is not sex. Rather it is a hug, a touch, a kiss on your forehead or an arm around your shoulders. In a healthy relationship you ought to receive plenty of physical affection from your partner. Physical affection is the simplest form of showing love.

9. Does your partner thank you for anything? 

“Thanks for cooking, darling”. “Thanks for taking the rubbish out, baby”. “Thanks for washing up”. Do you hear these often at home?

10. Do you regard your partner as your best friend?

This is a straight-forward question. Remember when you’re younger, you seem to be able to tell your best friend anything, everything without fear of being judged? You knew for sure that he or she would stand up for your regardless of situations. As an adult today, do you feel the same about your partner?

So, what is the state of your relationship? We hope now that you have an idea that you will be able to work with your partner in achieving or maintaining a healthy relationship.

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